i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
