my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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