3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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