I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize