I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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