another moral hangover. fuck.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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