thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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