My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
