I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
