Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Is it because I queefed?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
just found out that she named her cat after me.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize