we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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