Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
