I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize