I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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