There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
