I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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