Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
