How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Someone shit on the floor
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
