the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
