If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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