I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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