I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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