you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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