He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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