its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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