break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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