I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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