Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I need a burrito and a hug.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
