I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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