Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
