his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
