Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My bed is full of blood and feathers
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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