True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
