I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize