There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
