I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
we made out on top of his cat.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
