god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Randomize
