They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
this just has baby written all over it
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
