i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
