does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
