shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You're so nebulous sometimes
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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