worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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