I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
They took my balls.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
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