She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
