Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
