I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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