Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
