To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
