dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
