I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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