I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
