Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize