On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
