let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
