..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
