Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Your shirt... Was in my pants
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize