We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
