Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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