I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
it was like eating out sand paper
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
