Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize