he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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