Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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