Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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